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VOL 1458 - Sept. 06, 2015 - 40 Things NEVER Said by Southerners

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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September Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Truths: MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule states, "Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

9. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

10. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

12. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

13. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 40 Things NEVER Said by Southerners

40 Things Never Said By Southerners

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

24. Who's Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

09. Checkmate.

08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

05. I don't have a favorite college team.

04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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COOL MILITARY AIRCRAFT - F18 SQUADRON - FLIGHT OVER CARIBBEAN ISLAND - LEAD PLANE COOL PAINT! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/196377.html

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WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES - BARISTA WHO HAS TROUBLE WITH SPELLING NAMES ON THE COFFEE CUPS! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/196449.html

STRANGE SPORTS REPORTS - TV NEWSCREW SIMULATE Wii CURLING CHALLENGE - SCARY! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196450.html

STRANGE TOYS - TOTALLY PIMPED OUT TRICYCLE - GOLF WITH FENDER SKIRTS BLINK - HORNS - EVERYTHING! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/196451.html

STRANGE EARTH FORMATIONS - AMAZING VOLCANO IN THE CENTER OF THE SAHARA DESERT WITH AN OASIS INDIE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196448.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - AMPHIBIOUS CARS, VEHICLES, AIRPLANES - THEY FLOAT!

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Stories Of The World's Luckiest People - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/196264.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - Strange But True News, Quotes, Trends, Morons, etc

http://www.strangevacations.com/content/category/116_1.html

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